mommy dreams

It seems like the amount of "bad" children multiply when you appear at the OBGYN...they wait to taunt you about what your future entails. At seven months pregnant I made up my mind that I was not having any bad children after seeing a ridiculous spoiled child at the doctors office. The boy had to be at least six, but refused to walk on his own. He demanded that his dad pick him up and could not comprehend that he was destroying his back. Once the father became too tired from holding him, he attempted to stand him back up on the ground. His toes touched the ground, and the boy instantly started wailing. Every parent in the room shook their head in disbelief, and I was stunned. I muttered to my husband "Bad parenting I assume...We're not having any bad kids."

That's when my mommy dream became real. I think every new parent has elaborate ideas of what they will develop into. While some people have dreams of being that soft cuddly best friend. I imagined that I would be a strict disciplinarian. The type of Mom that has toys organized in certain boxes, that could only be taken out at playtime. There would be a tight schedule with outings, activities, bed time, play time because boundaries must be set. No tantrums or crying children allowed in the Patrick household.

And then Alex came. He started out sweet like a little teddy bear. At the hospital he was stuck by various needles and never shed a single tear. "Maybe he doesn't know how to cry" I stated. We were blessed to have such a calm easy going baby that took long naps and only asked to be fed. He eventually learned how to cry, and it came as a relief to know that he was in fact normal. What baby doesn't cry? The crying slowly increased to a tolerable level until about three months. Now Alexander Gabriel-Akanni Zaid Patrick is destroying my mommy dream. He is cutting my inner control freak, and refusing to take naps during the day. If he could talk Im sure he would say "let me play or else I will cry." All he wants to do is play, play, play. The truth is I'm afraid of his tears, and he knows it; He's milking me for all that Im worth. He usually plays until he reaches a play induced coma, and then passes out. Each day I see my dreams slipping away. Help!

I will not go to sleep!